L'zman Ha'zeh  

Posted by inkstainedhands in

It's April 2011, and I just realized that what it means is that I have been blogging for two years already. I was actually reminded of it by SternGrad's post, since she's also celebrating her blogoversary. It's been a great two years, and I am glad that I decided to start a blog back then. Big thank you to my readers for making it worth it and for giving me a reason to blog.

Chag sameach!

EVENT -- Jews and Jewish Culture in New Media  

Posted by inkstainedhands in , , , , , , ,

Hello fellow bloggers,

The Yeshiva University Museum is going to be hosting an exciting event for emerging writers, bloggers, and journalists on May 11th, 6-8 PM. The museum is located at 15 West 16th Street in Manhattan. Put this in your calendars, as it's not an event you'd want to miss. I'll be there and hope to see all of you.

Here is the information:

Jews & Jewish Culture in New Media: A Forum for Emerging Writers, Bloggers & Journalists

The popularity and influence of emerging media is empowering a new generation to question, challenge and raise their voices in unprecedented ways. It has fueled rebellions and revolutions around the world, and offers an exciting and ever-expanding reevaluation and re-articulation of culture. This issue is of crucial importance for Jewish cul
ture and society.

The Yeshiva University Museum is excited to host an informal, open forum for emerging writers, bloggers, and others engaged with Jewish culture through New Media. We will meet May 11 from 6-8pm to tour the Yeshiva University Museum galleries and discuss Jewish topics in new media. Together, we’ll evaluate, critique and debate such topics as: how new media effects our understanding of Jewish culture, ethics in writing about Jewish communal and culture topics, preservation and redefinition of tradition through writing, and how Jewish topics are, should and shouldn’t be addressed.

Please RSVP to chersh@yum.cjh.org or call 212-294-8330 x 8808

Also, please forward this invitation to other bloggers and writers you know who might be interested in this. The Facebook event can be found here.

Looking forward to seeing you there!

Matchmaker, Matchmaker  

Posted by inkstainedhands in , ,

I have wanted for a while to write about some of the issues in the dating system in today's Orthodox world, and although I have started writing a blog post about it (I'll post that one eventually), something I recently read provoked me to write this one, which I'll post first. This post might come across as judgmental and condescending to some people. If you're the type of person who dislikes that, feel free not to read it.

In last week's issue of the Jewish Press (April 1, 2011), the writers of a column titled 'A Dating Primer' wrote about how singles these days don't set each other up as they used to in the past. Apparently, singles used to look out for each other much better then than they do now. As an example, the writers mentioned two sisters, one of whom started dating about 8 years ago. Her friends set her up with guys, and she was able to find a husband within 2 years. In contrast, her younger sister, who is dating now, does not get set up by her friends. People aren't asking to set her up, while her sister used to get suggestions even before she started dating. The writers of the column suggest that because of this, the girl is "in the midst of a long 'drought' -- she has not had a date in a year."

This girl hasn't had a date in a year because her friends aren't setting her up? Am I the only one rolling my eyes at this?

I don't know if the article was using a hypothetical situation to make a point or was discussing an actual person, but whatever the case may be, it sounds unreasonable to say that the reason a girl has not had a date in a year is because her friends aren't setting her up. This implies that she is incapable of doing something for herself and her relationship status depends entirely on her friends.

Here's a novel idea. She can actually do something for herself instead of waiting for others to do it for her. She can go to a singles Shabbaton, sign herself up for a (*gasp*) dating site, go to places where there are other Jewish singles, and actually meet people. These are perfectly legitimate ways of meeting a guy, and if she was seriously looking to get married, she would look into these possibilities.

I understand that some people in the Orthodox community feel uncomfortable with dating someone they were not 'set up' with, but at what cost? If this system doesn't work, why not explore other options? It is unfair to blame this girl's friends for the fact that she hasn't had a date in a year. How about allowing her to take some of the responsibility?

I have a lot more to write on the subject, but first I would like to ask my readers to weigh in. What do you think about shidduchim vs. dating without an intermediary? What do you see as the pros and cons of both based on your own experience? Which do you prefer and why?