Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

With the release of the eighth and final Harry Potter movie this July (Deathly Hallows II), it seemed as if an era had come to a close. My friends and I had grown up with Harry Potter, and I remember eagerly awaiting the release of the last few books and devouring them as soon as they came out. It seemed appropriate to mark the occasion of the last movie's release by going to a midnight showing with a group of friends and dressing up like the nerd that I am. (Nowthat was a fun night.)

I realize I've been rather silent lately. It is not because I have had nothing to say, but rather because there was too much to say and think about and I wasn't quite sure where to start, or whether to start. I try to keep a little divider between my blog and my real life and I am careful with what I share here, especially since this blog isn't anonymous.

Remember Annie? Annie is the ray of sunshine that entered my life a few years ago and found her way into my heart. She is beautiful, inside and out, and just as she brings a smile to my face when I see her, so too I wish for her to have a life full of happiness and all the very best. This is for Annie....

I took my last final of the semester on Tuesday and submitted my last philosophy paper (which was very interesting to write even though I was rather short on time), and that means that I am now done with my first semester at college. Yay! :] This calls for a celebration! My first semester at Stern flew by pretty quickly, and those few months were some of the best in my life. I took fascinating new subjects, met interesting people and made amazing friends, got involved with a number of clubs, and got barely any sleep during the week because there was always just so much to do! And now I get nearly three weeks to take a few deep breaths and rest before jumping into my second semester.

Hello friends, readers, and random people who stumble upon my blog! It has been too long since my last post, and I can only attribute my silence to the busy schedule I've had the past couple of weeks at Stern College. Honestly, I have been meaning to write this post back in August and share my experiences from my first few days of college, but then life caught up with me and there was just too much going on for me to be able to sit down and sort out my thoughts properly.

So! I'm a full-time college student now. I had counted down to the start of college the entire summer, ever since I graduated from high school in June, and to say that I was looking forward to it was an understatement. I thought that after so much anticipation, the reality could hardly live up to my expectations and once I was weighed down by assignments I would be less enthusiastic about this new adventure, but surprisingly, I have managed to retain that happy and upbeat mood that seems to get on some people's nerves when liberally applied. In other words, being at Stern is all that I expected and more. I love it.

Orientation began on August 22nd, and Stern and its students and committees used every opportunity to make us feel welcome and comfortable in what will quickly become like our second home. And since there's nothing like a fun concert to help bring new students together and kick off a great year, YU invited Gad Elbaz to perform for us at the Schottenstein Cultural Center. I had, of course, heard some of his songs before, but hearing them live and feeling the energy in the audience transformed the music into a completely different and uplifting experience.

Classes began on the 25th, and I am taking some really interesting classes this semester, so I am very excited about that! I love learning, and what I appreciate about Stern is that I have the chance to take classes that challenge me and push me to think deeper and explore subjects I never thought of before. I had the brilliant idea of taking a few advanced-level classes during my first year in college, so I ended up being the only freshman in a couple of them, but I'm having a blast.

And of course, college would not be college without the social aspect, which brings me to the awesome new friends I have made over the past few weeks. I spent fourteen years of my life in the same school with the same people, so coming to college and seeing hundreds of new faces was somewhat intimidating. Although I don't dorm, I stayed on campus at my awesome peer mentor's apartment for Orientation Shabbat, where I met so many girls that I hope to become closer friends with over the course of my next few years here. Orientation Shabbat was absolutely beautiful, and just for the record, I have never yet experienced such an uplifting and spiritual Kabbalat Shabbat as I did that Friday in Stern's Beit Midrash. There were only girls present, so we sang and celebrated the day together, closely united even though many of us were there for the first time.

There is an emphasis in Stern on getting involved on campus and being a part of the YU community. There are clubs, societies, committees, and activities with a wide range of focuses, so each student is able to find something interesting to get involved in. I want to really take advantage of that and be a part of all that is going on so I can appreciate Stern to the fullest. I just have a really good feeling about this year... about finding my place in Stern and contributing my piece.

Another thing that delights me about Stern is that it gives me the opportunity to spend more time in the city, observing New York and its inhabitants. It seems that New Yorkers often get a bad reputation and are stereotyped as being cold, uncaring, selfish, pushy, rude, and generally nasty. (I admit that I, too, am guilty of occasionally making jokes about it, despite the fact that I was born and raised here.) Well, commuting and walking through the streets of the city affords me a better glimpse at these infamous New Yorkers. Like the one time the MTA machines weren't working in the 34th Street subway. Half of them were broken, and the other half refused to take dollar bills or credit cards, insisting on coins. I stood there, together with a Muslim woman, unsure of what to do since there was no other way for us to refill our empty Metro cards. A man, noticing our distress, approached us and offered to swipe his card for us at the turnstile for $2 -- less than what a ride actually costs, so we shouldn't have to fumble around with change and miss our trains. Then there was the time a woman forgot a shopping bag on the train, and one man noticed it, yelled for her to come back, and held the doors of the train open while she ran back, grabbed the bag, and ran back out. Another instance happened on Shabbat, which my friend pointed out to me. A homeless man was crossing the street, and one of the taxi drivers honked at him and motioned for him to come over. When the man approached the taxi, the driver handed him some money. It all happened in just a few seconds, and nobody really would have noticed it. But it's those small private deeds that matter. If you keep your eyes open, you will see them and you will recognize the human being inside each New Yorker. But if you refuse to see, you are only left with the stereotype in your head.

And of course, New York wouldn't be New York without the tourists. Throngs of them fill up the street at all times of the day, obstructing or slowing movement as they pause every few seconds and come to a stop to take pictures. Every single day, without fail, as I walk from the train station to Stern College, I see at least a few people standing on street corners, all pointing upwards with their cameras and furiously snapping pictures and pointing something out with deep interest. Human nature is curious and therefore dictates that if you see someone is giving something much attention and acting fascinated, you must look over as well to see what it is. So I looked up to see what they were all photographing. "Oh, the Empire State Building. Yeah, that's the place where I eat lunch.... No big deal." And I moved on, laughing to myself. So that is the sight that greets me every morning -- tourists aiming cameras at the Empire State Building. It's cute when I have plenty of time before class and am in no hurry, but when I am running late, the fact that they are obstructing the sidewalks and slowing me down gets a bit annoying.

So overall, it has been a crazy, amazing couple of weeks here at Stern, and I am so excited for the year ahead of me -- the classes, the events, the friends, and the growth I hope to achieve. So yay for Stern!! :]

Shana tova, dear readers!

Life is pretty good right now. I finished finals earlier this month and then enjoyed my week of midwinter vacation. Work hard, play hard. It seems that around finals time there is not much of a chance to have fun with friends, so my friends and I made up for that with a get-together last Shabbat as well as a sleepover on Motzei Shabbat, where I was introduced to Dance Dance Revolution. I also somehow found myself spending five days in Manhattan (all part of the 'play hard' plan) and had a wonderful time. I went for a bit of entertainment and music on some of those days. Another day I went shopping with my friends and realized more than ever just how amazing they are. (I even got a little story for my readers from Annie, which I'll have to post later.) And since a vacation cannot be all fun, I threw in just the right dose of business -- a college interview on Tuesday. To my great surprise, that turned out to be fun as well. I think that the last time my readers heard of this topic, I was saying that I wanted to go to Brooklyn College and was also searching for a seminary in Brooklyn to go to part-time. Well, a lot of things have changed since then, and I must write about that too! After my college interview, I basked in the beauty of Manhattan on a chilly January day before heading up to Washington Heights for YU's SOY Seforim Sale, where I met Chana, who was surprisingly bouncy and full of energy even after donating blood. (I am not quite sure how she does it.) So I now have enough reading material to last me some time, and I am very excited about that. I ended my vacation on a high note on Wednesday with another evening of entertainment in Manhattan, and on Thursday I reluctantly returned to school for the spring semester.

I have not had this much fun in months. :]

And the best part of it is that I am motivated to write now and work on my novel! Happy Hannah.

I love, love, love my friends. But this post is dedicated to the three with whom I spent the time between finals today in school -- the three who can make me just relax and stop worrying about my finals and think about how fortunate I am in having such friends.

Mornings are not the happiest of times during the school year, especially after you have had a grand total of four hours of sleep the night before and are quite stressed and would like nothing more than to hibernate and not have to do anything or speak to anyone. But I am very fortunate in that there are three very lovely individuals whose smiles brighten my mornings when I come to school. I do not enjoy mornings, and therefore I was very shocked as, when I was about to go to sleep late one night, I thought to myself that I am very excited for the morning to come, so I can wake up and go to school. And why was I so looking forward to that? Because I would see my three wonderful, amazing, delightful friends. And when I am looking forward to waking up so I can see someone, you know that they are really something special. And they are.

We often say that we are like a family -- and we are. We are there for each other, we listen, we discuss, we comfort, we advise, we smile, we laugh. They are the kinds of people that I can just run up to and randomly hug.

I am only sorry that next year we will no longer be together there. I hope that we will always be together, but there is something special about seeing each other every day in school and spending most lunchtimes together -- in the library or sitting around the piano in the auditorium -- that cannot be duplicated. I feel like I have finally found my place, like I am a part of something beautiful and special, and I do not want this to end. Who knows? Perhaps a year from now we will all be sitting together around another piano, in someone's living room, saying, "Remember when...?" and feeling as if it happened so long ago, when in reality not that much time has passed. I certainly hope that despite our different paths in life and plans for the future years, we will all find time to get together, like a family at a Shabbat dinner table. All the members have their own lives, their own places and responsibilities, but they all come together regularly and unite once more.

So who are these three beautiful individuals who make me smile and laugh and be joyful and thankful for my life? There is Selene*, whom I have known since pre-school. There is Elise*, whom I met a number of years ago. And then there is Annie*, who caught my attention quite unexpectedly when she came to my school last year. What boggles my mind every day though is how we all found each other and how everything connected so perfectly. (I am actually still not quite sure how that happened....)

Selene is a bright, mature, responsible girl with a heart of gold. (Actually, all three of them have a heart of gold.) She is thoughtful and grounded, and she thinks about things thoroughly before accepting them. She cares about the truth and stands up for it. She is not afraid to speak about what she thinks is right, even if by doing so she alienates herself from the rest of the class. She feels strongly, and the way in which she expresses her feelings proves the intensity of them. She is dedicated to her beliefs and will not be swayed or influenced by popular opinion. This is the kind of girl that will never give in to peer pressure. She knows who she is and what she stands for, and she will not give it up even if she is outnumbered five to one in a debate. She does not try to be who she is not in order to fit in, and one of the things I love so much about her is her frankness. You always know where you stand with her and you know that all her words are sincere. There are no mind games and there is no manipulation -- everything is straightforward, honest, and clear. If she says something, she means it, and if something needs to be discussed, it is done without melodrama. You don't have to play guessing games with her or constantly wonder whether she means what she says. If something is wrong, she will tell you directly, instead of pretending that all is fine and well and leaving you frustrated, wondering what that is all about. Unfortunately, it has become so common for girls to be manipulative in their social interactions that a gem like Selene is hard to come by. Talking to her is wonderfully refreshing because she is opinionated, well-spoken, and multi-faceted. I keep discovering new things about her every day and there is no such thing as running out of things to discuss when we are having a conversation. Selene can be both serious and lighthearted, depending on the situation, and conversations can go from being light to being deep in a matter of minutes. But no matter what the conversation is about, she would never allow a hurtful word to pass her lips when she is speaking to her friends. Even if my opinion ever differs from hers, she does not deride me for it or imply even through a facial expression that I might be wrong. I have plenty of friends who will look at me as if I have grown a second head if I do so much as think, act, or dress outside the box. But Selene can appreciate a person's individuality instead of criticizing it. In fact, she values people who feel comfortable enough in their own skin that they do not feel they need to conform. And she is that type of person herself. She is not afraid to be different and to make up her own rules instead of going along with the rest of the mindless herd. Selene is Selene, and nobody can take that away from her. And when she smiles, her whole face just lights up, and it is so beautiful to behold. She smiles with her eyes, and they sparkle and glow, and it just makes you want to smile along with her -- and I do.

Elise is one of the most easygoing people I know. When I first met her, I was dazzled by how high on life she seemed. She smiled easily, she cracked jokes, and she was like a little ball of energy that just keeps on bouncing. If someone sneaks up behind me and unexpectedly envelops me in a hug, it is most likely to be Elise. She spreads joy wherever she goes, and the effect it has on our little group is palpable. Even when she is going through something difficult, she still has enough of that energy of hers to make all the rest of us feel good. She cares deeply for her friends and is always willing to lend an ear or a shoulder. She is the embodiment of compassion, empathy, and kindness, and there is in her what can only be described as absolute goodness. I have yet to meet another person who cares so deeply about her friends and feels for them as keenly as if it had been for herself. If a friend is in pain, Elise is in pain. But she does not limit her compassion to merely feeling; she takes it upon herself to make her friends feel better, using as much of her time and energy as necessary. When a friend needs to vent, Elise is there to listen and advise, and when the friend does not wish to speak, Elise does everything that is in her power to show that she cares. And often, that is just as important as anything else. When you know that there is someone who cares about you and loves you and wishes to make you happy, life already seems a bit brighter. Her deep and unabated concern for her friends presses her to do more than superficially ask, "Is everything all right?" Elise does not just speak -- she acts. She is able to understand people and to read into their actions in order to see that something is bothering them. Elise is able to put her own needs aside in order to focus on those of her friends, and you do not get the feeling that she would rather be doing something else. When she focuses her attention on you, you know that you matter and that she wants to hear what you have to say. She is not just asking if you are okay to be nice -- she actually wants to hear what is going on in your life and what is bothering you. She is so unbelievably sincere. She has a very deep sense of right and wrong and she does not just act without thinking. Elise does not just go with what feels 'fun' -- she allows her conscience to lead her. She also believes in the goodness of her friends and wants to believe the best of them, and she helps people believe in themselves. Elise is like a ray of sunshine, lighting up the room and putting some light into lives that would otherwise be governed by stress and worries. She can make you forget everything else, and that is a wonderful thing when the "everything else" consists of finals, assignments, and responsibilities.

Annie is another little ray of sunshine... and a breath of fresh air. She is the kind of person you can spot in an auditorium with three hundred people because of her bright red gorgeous curly hair. And when I need to find my friends, I usually use that bobbing red ponytail as my guide as I weave through the crowd of high school students. And honestly, her hair color could not be more perfect to describe the type of person she is. She is bubbly, lively, and full of energy -- kind of like the little Energizer Bunny you see in commercials, except ten times more. She just keeps going and going, until you start to wonder if her batteries ever need recharging. (I somehow doubt it.) There is never a dull moment around her, and if there is not enough in life to keep us all amused, she will make sure to find something. I first met Annie last yet, when I was working as a librarian in my school's library. She marched into the library, saw that I was working there, and asked me if I could recommend any books on a certain theme. It seemed that she was determined to find a book that would back up a point she was trying to make, and all I could think of was, "Well, this is certainly a change!" Usually, girls' requests are more along the lines of, "Ugh.. I need a book for my report. Do you have any books from the reading list that are short?" or "Can you just find me something good from this list the teacher gave us for the report?" And there was Annie, this young freshman, who was bold and assertive and knew exactly what she wanted. I soon realized that the books I was trying to recommend her she had already read. And that is one of the things I love about Annie -- her thirst for knowledge and for understanding. She does not just go through the motions of everyday life, doing whatever she has to but nothing else. Annie does things for herself, not just because she 'has to.' She is the type of person who will actually read a book if I recommend it, instead of saying, "Oh, it sounds interesting" and never touching it. She is open-minded and willing to listen to what you have to say, and if she disagrees with you, she will say so. However, even if she disagrees, she will allow you to try to persuade her if your argument is logical and reasonable. She does not accept things blindly, but if what you say makes sense, she will give it further thought and consideration. But she is not a little marionette, to be manipulated at will. Annie is strong and independent. Annie is Annie, and she stays true to herself no matter what. She does not have this mentality of "I have to hide my true self in order to fit in" which seems prevalent among teenagers. She does not need to fit in. She does not have to pretend -- not when she is with friends and not when she is with teachers. She is outgoing and talkative, and I doubt that there is a shy bone in her body. Most of all, she reminds me of Annie from the 1982 musical film of the same name. She does not let her age impede her. She has no problem asking an adult frank questions or interrogating a complete stranger. I recently witnessed her begin a conversation with an adult in school she had never met before, and she was perfectly comfortable saying exactly what was on her mind. I saw the way the woman smiled at her, somewhat surprised at being thus openly addressed and inquired as to her identity. "Only Annie," I thought to myself. What I love about Annie is that you feel so comfortable around her, no matter who you are... well, unless you are an ill-equipped teacher whose theories have just been shattered by Annie's logic. And that is precisely what I love about Annie. She thinks and she examines life and challenges ideas and people in order to come to the right conclusions, and that can lead to the most interesting conversations. And we all know that I love interesting conversations.

Selene, Elise, and Annie all have hearts of gold, and it is so pleasant just to be around them. They are not judgmental; they allow you to be yourself and love you for it. Do you know how amazing it is to be loved for who you are -- for the real version -- and not feeling as if you have to hide certain parts of yourself because your friends would not 'approve' of them? It is delightful.

What I used to do during lunchtimes or free periods or breaks was considerably more antisocial than what I do now. I used to find a nice little staircase or corner in the school and spend all my free time writing. And now... now I seek out Selene, Elise, and Annie because they are some of the most amazing people ever and every minute I spend with them is delightful. And I always wonder, What did I do to deserve such wonderful friends? (I am still not quite sure of the answer.) All I know is that I am fortunate in having them in my life (and that also applies to all my other friends that I did not write about here).

I love and adore you guys, and you mean the world to me.



*Names have been changed.

There are some things, some situations, that serve as a powerful reminder of how quickly time passes by, and one of those things is graduation.

My best friend graduated today (well, technically it was yesterday, since it is past midnight now), and I was there to see it and celebrate with her. I clearly remembered her elementary school graduation, to which I also came, and then I remembered my own graduation. I remember how young we were, and yet how cool we thought we were for walking down that aisle in our blue gowns, ready to receive our diplomas. We thought that it was the end, that we had completed all there was to complete. I remember how my class became all sentimental about saying goodbye, even though we all knew that most of us would be together in high school anyway.

There was another thought that very much affected me. When I was in the younger grades of the elementary school (first, second, third), I used to see high school students in the lunchroom and I thought about how many years I had left until I could be in their place. To a second grader, the image of being in twelfth grade is too vague to properly contemplate. Twelfth grade was something so far away, so out of reach. It seemed as though it would never come, because I knew I still had so many grades left to go through. I often wondered about it though, counting down the years. And now I realized -- it all went by so quickly, and here I am, entering the twelfth grade, and there is my best friend, already done.

I remember when she and I first met. I was in sixth grade, and she was in seventh. We were shy at first, but once we got over that initial stage, we became good friends... and then we became best friends. We have come so far since that day when we first met. I still remember it, as crystal clear as if I see it on an HD screen.

Well, now she has graduated, and next year I will not have her with me in school. I will not be able to just find her during my lunch break or free periods, whenever I want to talk. It might take some adjusting.

Time is flying by, and I want to make the most of every day before I graduate. I used to count down the years until graduation because I could not wait to be done with school, but now, when I count the time I have left here, I am sorry that it is so little. I always wanted the clock to speed up, but now that it has, I wish it would slow down. When I saw those graduates on that stage today (some of whom I knew from my AP Literature class) and I imagined myself there in a year, it made me kind of sad. I always dreamed of being there, but realizing now how little time I have left, I regret having to leave so soon.

I am tired now, having been up for nearly seventeen hours after sleeping for a grand total of five. I have had a busy day, and although my thoughts are racing, I do not want that to translate into me rambling here.

I was not planning on posting again, but I am done with cleaning and am now at my best friend's house, playing around with her Blackberry. Very nice.

Chag sameach.