People spend their whole lives looking for meaning, trying to find something that will justify their existence and give them a reason to continue working and striving, to continue fighting for what they know is right and not to give up even when it seems as if everything is falling down around them. We often have such moments when we are ready to give up because nothing is going right and it looks like all our efforts are worthless and bring no results. As we realize the insignificance of a single human life in the context of the entire world, we despair and make the mistake of thinking that what we do does not matter.

There is an interesting passage about it in Chaim Potok's The Chosen. Chaim Potok is a brilliant writer and I really enjoy his books for their depth and their understand of human (and particularly religious) nature. I love the way he explores issues that relate to our religious community and have meaning for us, and his novels are so easy to get into because we can connect with the characters based on our own experiences.

Reuven, the protagonist of The Chosen, is worried because his father is putting what he feels are unnecessarily long hours into his work and his efforts to support a Zionistic state (this takes place before the establishment of the state of Israel). His father works late every night and barely sleeps, and when Reuven sees that it is taking a toll on his health, he feels the need to protest and to urge his father to see the doctor and to "take it a little easy." This is his father's response:

"Human beings do not live forever, Reuven. We live less than the time it takes to blink an eye, if we measure our lives against eternity. So it may be asked what value is there to a human life. There is so much pain in the world. What does it mean to have to suffer so much if our lives are nothing more than the blink of an eye? ... I learned a long time ago, Reuven, that the blink of an eye in itself is nothing. But the eye that blinks, that is something. A span of life is nothing. But the man who lives that span, he is something. He can fill that tiny span with meaning, so its quality is immeasurable though its quantity may be insignificant. Do you understand what I am saying? A man must fill his life with meaning, meaning is not automatically given to life. It is hard work to fill one's life with meaning. That I do not think you understand yet. A life filled with meaning is worthy of rest. I want to be worthy of rest when I am no longer here."

Hello friends, readers, and random people who stumble upon my blog! It has been too long since my last post, and I can only attribute my silence to the busy schedule I've had the past couple of weeks at Stern College. Honestly, I have been meaning to write this post back in August and share my experiences from my first few days of college, but then life caught up with me and there was just too much going on for me to be able to sit down and sort out my thoughts properly.

So! I'm a full-time college student now. I had counted down to the start of college the entire summer, ever since I graduated from high school in June, and to say that I was looking forward to it was an understatement. I thought that after so much anticipation, the reality could hardly live up to my expectations and once I was weighed down by assignments I would be less enthusiastic about this new adventure, but surprisingly, I have managed to retain that happy and upbeat mood that seems to get on some people's nerves when liberally applied. In other words, being at Stern is all that I expected and more. I love it.

Orientation began on August 22nd, and Stern and its students and committees used every opportunity to make us feel welcome and comfortable in what will quickly become like our second home. And since there's nothing like a fun concert to help bring new students together and kick off a great year, YU invited Gad Elbaz to perform for us at the Schottenstein Cultural Center. I had, of course, heard some of his songs before, but hearing them live and feeling the energy in the audience transformed the music into a completely different and uplifting experience.

Classes began on the 25th, and I am taking some really interesting classes this semester, so I am very excited about that! I love learning, and what I appreciate about Stern is that I have the chance to take classes that challenge me and push me to think deeper and explore subjects I never thought of before. I had the brilliant idea of taking a few advanced-level classes during my first year in college, so I ended up being the only freshman in a couple of them, but I'm having a blast.

And of course, college would not be college without the social aspect, which brings me to the awesome new friends I have made over the past few weeks. I spent fourteen years of my life in the same school with the same people, so coming to college and seeing hundreds of new faces was somewhat intimidating. Although I don't dorm, I stayed on campus at my awesome peer mentor's apartment for Orientation Shabbat, where I met so many girls that I hope to become closer friends with over the course of my next few years here. Orientation Shabbat was absolutely beautiful, and just for the record, I have never yet experienced such an uplifting and spiritual Kabbalat Shabbat as I did that Friday in Stern's Beit Midrash. There were only girls present, so we sang and celebrated the day together, closely united even though many of us were there for the first time.

There is an emphasis in Stern on getting involved on campus and being a part of the YU community. There are clubs, societies, committees, and activities with a wide range of focuses, so each student is able to find something interesting to get involved in. I want to really take advantage of that and be a part of all that is going on so I can appreciate Stern to the fullest. I just have a really good feeling about this year... about finding my place in Stern and contributing my piece.

Another thing that delights me about Stern is that it gives me the opportunity to spend more time in the city, observing New York and its inhabitants. It seems that New Yorkers often get a bad reputation and are stereotyped as being cold, uncaring, selfish, pushy, rude, and generally nasty. (I admit that I, too, am guilty of occasionally making jokes about it, despite the fact that I was born and raised here.) Well, commuting and walking through the streets of the city affords me a better glimpse at these infamous New Yorkers. Like the one time the MTA machines weren't working in the 34th Street subway. Half of them were broken, and the other half refused to take dollar bills or credit cards, insisting on coins. I stood there, together with a Muslim woman, unsure of what to do since there was no other way for us to refill our empty Metro cards. A man, noticing our distress, approached us and offered to swipe his card for us at the turnstile for $2 -- less than what a ride actually costs, so we shouldn't have to fumble around with change and miss our trains. Then there was the time a woman forgot a shopping bag on the train, and one man noticed it, yelled for her to come back, and held the doors of the train open while she ran back, grabbed the bag, and ran back out. Another instance happened on Shabbat, which my friend pointed out to me. A homeless man was crossing the street, and one of the taxi drivers honked at him and motioned for him to come over. When the man approached the taxi, the driver handed him some money. It all happened in just a few seconds, and nobody really would have noticed it. But it's those small private deeds that matter. If you keep your eyes open, you will see them and you will recognize the human being inside each New Yorker. But if you refuse to see, you are only left with the stereotype in your head.

And of course, New York wouldn't be New York without the tourists. Throngs of them fill up the street at all times of the day, obstructing or slowing movement as they pause every few seconds and come to a stop to take pictures. Every single day, without fail, as I walk from the train station to Stern College, I see at least a few people standing on street corners, all pointing upwards with their cameras and furiously snapping pictures and pointing something out with deep interest. Human nature is curious and therefore dictates that if you see someone is giving something much attention and acting fascinated, you must look over as well to see what it is. So I looked up to see what they were all photographing. "Oh, the Empire State Building. Yeah, that's the place where I eat lunch.... No big deal." And I moved on, laughing to myself. So that is the sight that greets me every morning -- tourists aiming cameras at the Empire State Building. It's cute when I have plenty of time before class and am in no hurry, but when I am running late, the fact that they are obstructing the sidewalks and slowing me down gets a bit annoying.

So overall, it has been a crazy, amazing couple of weeks here at Stern, and I am so excited for the year ahead of me -- the classes, the events, the friends, and the growth I hope to achieve. So yay for Stern!! :]

Shana tova, dear readers!

Hello, readers!

I am now in Cleveland, relaxing a bit after a full day of taking in the sights of Ohio.

We left New York on Monday, August 2nd, and drove to Clearfield, PA, where we spent the night in order to break up the long drive to Ohio. The air there smelled so sweet and fresh, you have no idea -- it was like flowers and freshly mown grass. That basically sums up Day 1 of our trip.


Day 2 (Tuesday, August 3rd) was much more exciting. After checking out of the hotel, we continued on our way. The time between Pennsylvania and Ohio seemed to pass by much faster when I was behind the wheel, although I don't think the other passengers in the car (my parents) felt the same way.

When we arrived in Cleveland, it was still too early to check into our hotel, so I went to see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame while my parents enjoyed the fresh air at a nearby park. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was simply delightful, and I only wish photos were allowed inside. The building is shaped like a pyramid and the walls are made of glass. I saw it during the day, but I think it looks even cooler at night when it is all lit up.

The museum had a lot of things on display for music fans. There were guitars that had been played by the Jackson 5, Elvis Presley, members of the Beatles, Johnny Cash, and so on. They had different artists' outfits, including Elvis, Ringo Starr, the Ramones, Mick Jagger, Bob Marley, Tina Turner, Brian May, David Bowie, Steven Tyler, and more. For Beatles fans, there were the electric guitars that John Lennon and George Harrison played, the jacket that John Lennon wore on the sleeve of the US single 'I Want to Hold Your Hand', the famous outfit he wore on the cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, the piano that Yoko Ono got him so he could compose when he was away from home, and his handwritten lyrics. One of the fun things about seeing the outfits was being able to get an idea of how the person looked -- some of those people were much shorter than I had imagined, judging by their clothing.

The top two floors of the museum were dedicated to a Bruce Springsteen exhibition, and also contained outfits, musical instruments played by him, handwritten lyrics, and awards he won.

For me, the highlight of the museum was the little section of it that was dedicated to Michael Jackson. The outfits started as early as from the 1970s and spanned about half the length of his career. The earliest outfit was from 1971, back when he was part of the Jackson 5. The famous original red jacket from the 'Thriller' video (that is now commonly worn as an MJ costume) was there, but it was sadly very tattered. With it was displayed the animal mask Michael Jackson sometimes used for performances of 'Thriller', as well as his Grammy award. The outfit from his 'Bad' video was also there. My favorite outfit though was the blue sparkly jacket with golden epaulets that he had worn to the 1984 Grammy ceremony, when he won a record-breaking number of eight Grammy awards. And, of course, the signature white glove was on display as well, sparkling in the dimly lit hall. I could have stayed there much longer, just staring at it, but the museum was closing.

Day 3 was today -- Wednesday, August 4th. We spent the first half of the day at the Hale Farm and Village in Peninsula, OH, where we got to see historic buildings and homes. People in period dress were there to explain the time periods of the different houses and to demonstrate what it was like to live there. There were women spinning wool, weaving, and making baskets. There was a really cool glassblowing demonstration, in which the man showed us how he makes glass vases from beginning to end. (It was an incredibly hot day today, and I can only imagine how much worse it must be standing there next to a hot furnace all day.)

The heat was beginning to really get to us as well, so as soon as we had seen all we wanted to see (and I bought a bonnet and a Civil War-style Confederacy cap at the gift shop), we returned to Cleveland. I only regret that we were not able to be there for the Civil War reenactment, which is happening next weekend.

I spent the second half of my day in the Cleveland Museum of Art, which was absolutely beautiful. The architecture is magnificent, and although I am used to the Metropolitan in New York and already feel at home there, I loved the Cleveland museum every bit as much, I think. Admission is free, so it's convenient if you want to take your time going through the galleries and spend more than one day there.

I focused on the European paintings and sculptures, and I also enjoyed the collection of suits of armor and weapons (from the 16th century!), which was arranged very well and given more space than the one in the Metropolitan. There were so many galleries there and so many beautiful paintings. El Greco, Pieter de Hooch, Jacques Louis David, Boucher, Gainsborough, Constable, Monet, Renoir, Manet, Van Gogh, Cezanne, Picasso, etc. My favorite things: the gallery of American paintings from the 1890s to 1920s, which focused on New York life and which I found very helpful in gaining a better understanding of the time for something I am writing, Degas' paintings and sculpture, and the entire gallery of Rodin's sculptures. To say I was delighted would be an understatement. There were art students sitting in every corner of that gallery, sketching the sculptures. Outside, in front of the museum, was a huge sculpture of Rodin's 'The Thinker'. So awesome!

I left the museum at 9 PM, only when they began escorting everyone out. I could definitely have spent more time there though.

So those were the first 3 days of our little vacation. Plans for tomorrow include a visit to the Toledo Museum of Art, to see -- you guessed it -- more art! :]

Tisha B'Av is a time of mourning and sadness for the Jewish people, but its message is also one of hope and redemption. Knowing what led to the tragedy which we now mourn, we also have the power to prevent more suffering by striving to fix the mistake which led to the destruction of our beloved Beit HaMikdash. It is time to replace baseless hatred with love and to reach out to one another.

Perhaps it is fitting then that a piece written by me about the unity and love I witnessed at the Salute to Israel parade was just published by The Jewish Press. I think that is the message we need to focus on now. Unity and love should not just be reserved for a parade that happens once a year or for the occasional demonstrations in NYC. It should be a way of life.

You can read the piece in the June 16 edition of The Jewish Press or view it online.

Wishing all of my readers an easy and meaningful fast, as well as the strength to rise above the negative emotions that seem to come so easily and to focus instead on the positive, even when it is difficult.

Little pieces of wisdom from Les Liaisons Dangereuses, by Choderlos de Laclos

On passion and prudence:

"What you call happiness is but a tumult of the senses, a tempest of passions of which the mere view from the shore is terrible. Ah! Why confront these tempests? How dare embark upon a sea covered with the debris of so many thousand shipwrecks?" -- Madame de Tourvel

"I say my principles, and I say so decidedly; for they are not, like those of other women, the result of chance, received without scrutiny, and followed out of habit; they are the fruit of my profound reflections; I have created them, and I may say that I am my own handiwork." -- Marquise de Merteuil.

"What would virtue be without the duties which it imposes? Its worship lies in our sacrifices, its recompense in our hearts. These truths cannot be denied except by those who have an interest in disregarding them, and who, already depraved, hope to have a moment's illusion by endeavoring to justify their bad conduct by bad reasons." -- Marquise de Merteuil.

"It is not for the illusion of a moment to settle the choice of our life. In fact, in order to choose, one must compare; and how can that be done, when one is occupied by a single object, when even that object one cannot know, plunged as one is in intoxication and blindness?" -- Marquise de Merteuil.

"To what lengths will vanity not carry us! The wise man was right, indeed, when he said that it was the enemy of happiness." -- Marquise de Merteuil.

"Who is there who would not shudder, if he were to reflect upon the misfortunes that may be caused by even one dangerous acquaintance! And what troubles would one not avert by reflecting on this more often!" -- Madame de Volanges

When I look back on the past four years and at the changes that I have undergone, I realize more than ever the importance of choosing the right high school. It is different for each individual, and one student can flourish and succeed in a certain high school, while another student will suffocate, feel miserable, and look back on those four years with resentment. Looking at my graduating class, I see girls who fall under both categories and anywhere in between. There are girls who have reached heights that they cannot imagine achieving in any other school, and they will look back at their high school years with fondness, tinged with a bittersweet longing, wishing they could come back and gain even more but knowing that they must move on. There are girls who did all they had to do in high school, passed their tests and completed their assignments, and look at high school as just another one of the things that they had to go through as part of life. And then there are girls who went through high school feeling frustrated and resentful because they thought they did not have the freedom to do what they wanted and were being restricted and choked by the school's standards. To them, graduation meant finally being able to do as they pleased without the fear of being caught or suffering consequences. (Of course, many of these girls did as they pleased even in high school, but it is so much more pleasant doing what you want without having this worrying thought somewhere in the back of your mind that you might get caught.) These girls appreciated school mostly because of the opportunities it gave them of making new friendships. In other words, they liked the social aspect, but the good feelings stopped there.

To determine which category I fall under would be difficult, since I have experienced all three. I have raged, rebelled, toiled, stressed, appreciated, and loved. I experienced frustration, disappointment, despair, happiness, attachment, and delight. But I could not experience the last three until I had re-evaluated my priorities, examined my life with honesty, and decided upon which path I wanted to embark and what was the best way of getting to the destination I wanted to reach. Before I did that, I could not appreciate; I could only see limitations wherever I turned. And I am sure that there are girls who still see it that way and never learned to let go of their prejudice.

Now, when I look back on the past four years, and the last two in particular, I am struck by how much I have learned and gained, and by my growth as a person. I am definitely not the same person I was when I walked into high school, prepared for battle. Once I realized that high school was not hostile territory, despite all its rules and expectations, I was able to begin to truly learn. I was able to connect with sincere, truth-seeking students and embark on a journey together. I was able to also connect with so many teachers, whose patience and generosity made me feel comfortable approaching them with my questions, my doubts, and my struggles. Honestly, I think that my teachers were the most important part of my high school experience, helping me grow and understand myself better without being judgmental or severe. They have encouraged me to seek the truth, be true to myself, and make the most out of everything. They have expressed faith in me, giving me support and investing time and effort in helping me when I needed it. They were always available, during lunch breaks, free periods, on the phone....

It was such a regular part of my life and it was always so easy that I took it for granted. The last couple of months, it struck me that I only had a few more weeks, and then I would be gone. It would no longer be as easy as having long discussions during lunch and school hours. I'm going to miss that, probably more than anything else. I'm also going to miss all those classes that opened my eyes and my mind, which mattered so much to me. I'm going to miss walking into my favorite classes with that eagerness and desire to learn. Of course, there will be no end of interesting classes in Stern (and I am already looking forward to them with much excitement), but it's different. It's a change of pace and a completely different atmosphere. It is one I hope to gain much from, but it is not one I am used to.

And now, I have just a couple of months dividing the high school experience that I miss so much and the beginning of a new experience at Stern. Why do I have the impression that this will feel like the longest summer I have experienced thus far?

It is hard for me to believe that I am graduating on the 22nd of June. When people told me that 12th grade would fly by, I did not realize it would be this quick. It is as if I just yesterday stepped into the school again after the summer, prepared to settle in for another whole year. Ten months seemed like such a long time, and even now when I say it, I think, "It could not possibly have been ten months!" Well, I'm done. I still have Regents examinations next week, but otherwise, I am done. I finished classes last week, finished my finals this week, and I need only to wait a couple of weeks to graduate.

When I was a little first grader, I looked up with awe at the 3rd and 4th graders. And then when I was in their place, I proceeded to look up with awe at the junior high students. It was hard to wrap my little mind around the fact that they were so high up that they were almost graduating elementary school. And as for high school students -- they were just marvelous creatures. They had their own building that we were not allowed into, and they had different uniforms, and they were so.. well.. old. I could not imagine being in high school. And now that I am graduating high school, I look back at the little kid version of me with amusement. I have been waiting for this moment for years, and now it is almost here.

The past four years were so important in forming who I am today, and as I look back on them, I see how far I have come and how much I have changed and grown. It has been at times a rough and bumpy road, but it was the right one, as I feel that I have arrived at the right destination. And soon, I will be embarking on another road, and I feel it is the right one, too.

And that brings me to my plans for next year. As you might recall, I had asked for Brooklyn seminary suggestions back in October, but I did not mention anything after that. Well, that is because I ended up choosing not to go to seminary. I thought I would go to seminary in the mornings and then attend Brooklyn College in the afternoons, but I decided to do college full time instead... and I chose to go to a different college as well... which is why, as of fall 2010, I am going to be a full-time Stern College (YU) student! A year ago, I would not have believed it. It was not an easy choice to make, but once I made up my mind and realized that this is what is right for me, I was pretty excited about it. In fact, now that I got the schedule for orientation in August, I am downright psyched! I cannot put into words how much I am looking forward to it.

I probably will not know anyone there, since most of my friends are going off to seminary or to different colleges, so if anyone here knows someone who's going to Stern next year (or is going herself), say hi!

Flyers and ads for today's Salute to Israel parade announced that the parade would proceed, rain or shine. For a while, it looked as though we would have no shine, since the weather forecast ominously predicted rain for today. Since something like a little rain would not stop me from coming to support Israel and cheer on those marching, I packed an umbrella and went off to 5th Avenue. It became apparent to me soon enough that not only was my umbrella unnecessary, but that bringing sunglasses and sunscreen would have been much more worthwhile. The threatening clouds were only present for the beginning of the parade, and they soon disappeared, allowing the sun to shine down and illuminate the cheerful proceedings.

Men, women, students, children, and dogs were all there to display their pride for Israel. Both those marching and those observing waved Israeli flags and cheered. And one of the things I love most about these parades for Israel is the incredible sense of unity. There is a connection, a special bond, between all the people who show up to the parade. It does not matter who they are or how they identify themselves -- if they are religious, non-religious, Orthodox, Conservative, wearing a kippa or bareheaded, wearing a short skirt or pants -- they are all there together to show their love for Israel and the Jewish nation. And that's beautiful. Seeing all these people -- thousands of them -- together in one place and for a common cause is beautiful. I could have cried out of pride.

I spent a couple of hours at the parade and then made my way through Central Park to the Summerstage, where the Israel Day Concert was taking place. At that point, the sun came out full force and I felt myself baking in its heat. It cooled down eventually though, so I stayed for a while. There was music, dancing, and singing as everyone celebrated together.

Next time though, I am bringing sunscreen even if rain is expected. My face is not looking happy right now -- I don't think I've been this burnt since last summer!

The Maccabeats

To quote my niece: "Why don't you just quickly choose a chosson and get married?"

She even had suggestions. I sense a shadchan in the making. ;]

And I also sense that I won't be hearing the end of it until I hand her an invitation to my wedding... which still doesn't have anyone in the main role.

From Wikipedia, about the capture of Manual Noriega, the military dictator of Panama, during George Bush's administration:

Operation Nifty Package was an operation launched by Navy SEALs to prevent the escape of Noriega. They sank Noriega's boat and destroyed his jet at a cost of 4 killed and 9 wounded. Military operations continued for several weeks, mainly against military units of the Panamanian Army. Noriega remained at large for several days, but realizing he had few options in the face of a massive manhunt, with a one million dollar reward for his capture, he obtained refuge in the Vatican diplomatic mission in Panama City. The US military's psychological pressure on him and diplomatic pressure on the Vatican mission, however, was relentless, as was the playing of loud rock-and-roll music day and night in a densely populated area. The report of the Office of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff maintains that the music was used principally to prevent parabolic microphones from being used to eavesdrop on negotiations, and not as a psychological weapon based around Noriega's supposed loathing of rock music. Noriega finally surrendered to the U.S. military on January 3, 1990. He was immediately put on an MC-130 Combat Talon aircraft and extradited to the United States.

My niece and nephew were at my house for Shabbat, and at one point, my niece turned to me and asked with a straight face, "When are you getting married?" My father and I exchanged looks, amused by the question and by the fact that it was my eight-year-old niece who was asking it. I cautiously replied that I might first have to find someone to marry before I can start planning the wedding, and I inquired why she was asking this all of a sudden. Her reply? She wants to wear a beautiful gown and wants to know when she can do that. I promised her that I would let her know as soon as I knew the answer myself.

It was her next question though that really surprised me. She wanted to know at what age I want to get married -- young or older. She elaborated that young was at 19 or 20 and older is basically anything above that number.

So this is just to let all you girls know -- if you're above 20, you are apparently older. Who knew?

As we know, G-d takes care of the poor and gives us commandments to help out those who are in need -- widows, orphans, converts, the poverty-stricken, and so on. We are obligated to help out anyone who is at a disadvantage or might be oppressed by others. In Parshat Kedoshim (Leviticus 19:9), it says the following:

ובקצרכם את קציר ארצכם לא תכלה פאת שדך לקצר ולקט קצירך לא תלקט

When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not fully reap the corner of your field, nor shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest.

If you look closely at the Hebrew text (as this is not apparent in the English translation), you see that it starts off by addressing the people using the plural form -- ובקצרכם -- and then as the verse continues, it suddenly switches off to the singular form when it says לא תכלה. But if the entire verse is addressed to the same audience, why does it at first address them in plural and then in singular?

Kli Yakar interprets the commandment as follows. Even at a time of gathering, when many people are gathering their crops, you should not think that the poor person can support himself through the field of other people and therefore you do not have to leave off a corner of your own field. The obligation is put on every individual and he cannot exempt himself because of others. So even though everyone is leaving off a corner for the poor and it might seem like this farmer's little corner does not matter, the Torah is saying that it does matter, because every single individual person is obligated to do this.

You see this a lot in life. When people need help -- people who are not really close to us, or are even total strangers -- we tend to think that someone else will come along and help them. We don't want to take responsibility for those people. After all, who are they to us that we should help them? We assume that somebody else will come to their assistance. We pretend we don’t see. We act as if it’s not our problem. We think, “There are hundreds of people who know about this or see this person is in need of help – one of them will help. My help doesn’t matter.”

And of course, you know what happens in situations like these. Chances are that nobody ends up helping because everyone thinks someone else will. But that someone else also doesn’t want to take responsibility for something that does not personally affect him or his close group of friends and family. I mean, if you don't want to take responsibility, why should somebody else?

In psychology, this is known as the diffusion of responsibility. When the responsibility is spread over all the people involved and there are a lot of people, you assume that someone else will help and if they don't, that must mean that no help is required -- even though this is not at all the case.

Earlier this month, I had the honor of attending a lecture by Elie Wiesel. The topic of the lecture was the tragedy of the St. Louis ship and its passengers during World War II, when Jewish refugees from Germany were denied entry in Cuba, America, and Canada. These countries refused to take responsibility for them, even though they could have saved them from death. (Various European countries eventually agreed to allow a certain number of the ship's passengers in.)

Elie Wiesel spoke about the things we can learn from those events, and two of those lessons were that when help is required we should give it right away, and when victims rely on assistance, we should not think others will do it because others think we will.

Most of us know of people who need help, of things that need fixing, of the changes we could effect, but how many of us will actually stand up and do something about it, instead of waiting around for the next person? Because you never know when that next person will come or if he will come along at all. I know I would find it difficult to be that person who takes the responsibility and does what needs to be done.

But if we want to make a difference in this world, we have to stop having the "someone-else-will-do-it" mindset and start thinking more along the lines of, "I will do it. I will take the responsibility on myself."

I was thinking recently about the different reasons people might have for following certain Torah commandments. When a person -- a speaker, a writer, or just a friend -- is trying to convince another to follow a commandment, there are two different tactics one can use. One can either state the reason given by the Torah or by respected Torah authorities whose knowledge has been accepted for centuries, or, the other choice is to give reasons that will make the person you are trying to convince feel good about the whole thing. For instance, if you are trying to convince a person to be shomer negiah, you can either give the halakhic reasons or you can speak about the powerful effect of physical contact.

As a teenage girl in a religious school, I mostly hear the feel-good reasons. How special you are, how you should not make your body cheap (although it was never quite explained how shaking someone's hand can be making you 'cheap'), how if you are shomer negiah now you will be happier later when you're in a meaningful relationship (meaning marriage), and so on.

Now, I am not trying to discount these reasons. They have a lot of truth to them and some of them are quite logical, but why are they the main focus? What happened to giving halakhic explanations? Now, I know that for those who could not care less about the black-and-white of halakha or want something that appeals to their emotions more, such explanations will do the trick, but what about the others? What about those that don't subscribe to all this feel-good stuff that gets thrown at them by books, speakers, and teachers? What about people who want something more than that, who want an actual source?

Of course, if you only speak of sources and halakhic explanations in a school for girls or in a book that is aimed at teenagers, you will get nowhere. It is important to explain it in a way that will appeal to them, but at the same time it is necessary to also talk about halakha using a frank, direct approach so that girls should not think that they only need to follow the halakha for as long as it makes them feel good.

I once approached a friend of mine who was reading a book for teenagers about shomer negiah, and I remarked to her that although it is good that she is reading it and I hope that she gains something from it, she should keep in mind the halakhic reasons and she should also realize that we do not keep shomer negiah because it makes us feel all good inside but because G-d issued His commandments and we follow them. Otherwise, if you are only shomer negiah because you think you will benefit from it or it makes you happy or will prevent regrets, what happens if one day you give up on that and decide that it in fact does not make you happy and you do not see any immediate benefit in it?

Once you bring things down to the human level and think about the Torah in terms of your emotions and how you feel about its commandments, you are in dangerous waters. If you only do what makes you feel good, who's to say you will follow halakha? I mean, if you need the feel-good reasons because they will encourage you in your Torah observance, then by all means, go ahead! But they should not be your only reasons. They should complement, not supplant.

I began this blog on April 1st, 2009. I had spent a couple of weeks before that wondering if it was worth it or not, if I should or I should not. But I started. I had no idea who would be reading my blog or in which direction it would go, but I plunged into it and began posting. At first, I had a lot to say and would write, on average, 15 posts a month. That number reached its peak at 19 in August 2009, when I was in Israel and had so much to say and to share, but dwindled to single-digit numbers once the school year started.

I am still here, still writing, still thinking, and you will have to believe me when I say that I have not abandoned my blog (although it sometimes seems like it when I do not post for long stretches of time).

Anyway, I just want to thank my readers (and especially those who comment, since feedback is always appreciated), and here's to another year of blogging. :]